Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want to make out with him forever
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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