my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
