I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
