Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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