he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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