So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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