Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
