We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
