apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
