I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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