I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
