I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
