No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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