margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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