And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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