Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
