She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
