We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
