I think im going to throw up on grandma
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
