She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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