I think i peed on brittanys purse
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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