Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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