I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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