i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
