Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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