How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The Olympian is in my bed
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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