soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize