goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
