Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
