since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
