Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
