so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
