Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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