New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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