I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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