He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
