You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
