I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
