The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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