Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
