The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
