just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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