At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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