3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's blow job season.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
