Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
