I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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