Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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