Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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