I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
