What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
