we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
