you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
