I just cut my nipple shaving
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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